Equius is a really underrated character, and when he is brought up it’s usually just for jokes about him needing towels or in conjunction with Nepeta.
But in reality he’s like this awesome mechanical genius who builds fully functional battle robots and working bionic arms for his friends; at the human equivalent of 13 self-taught over the internet. That’s only 13 years of experience, much of it spent as a grub or small child, no matter what your ageing headcanon, while being raised by a horse-cow-butler.
Plus he is literally the strength equivalent of Thor, his STRONGjump is literally insane.
Do you even lift?
also let me point out we’ve only just recently managed to create a prosthetic robotic arm that an deal cards and tie shoelaces
MEANWHILE EQUIUS’S ROBOT ARM FOR VRISKA WORKS LIKE A FUCKING NATURAL ARM??? AND THE FINGERS AND HAND AND WRIST TOO???
and don’t even get me started on aradiabot
Can I mention here that paralysis occurs from damage to the spinal cord. Which means that it’s not just that Tavros’s legs didn’t work, it’s that the nerves didn’t send signals to the muscles properly.
Meaning that Equius would not have just had to build him a pair of legs, but also extend wires to attach electrodes directly to his think pan. This is a thing that some of the best doctors in America have only been able to do in the last few years, with much less stable results.
Not to mention the fact that he was able to craft these things out of random shit they found on the meteor and make the sensors tiny enough that they would be completely inside his head, something humans have not done to my knowledge.
tl;dr Equius is also a professional fucking brain surgeon
equius is actually one of the best trolls if you give his character more than 0.02 seconds of thought
all this and also, despite the casteist shit he was raised to believe, when karkat — lowest of the low — ordered him to stop gamzee, he went, despite probably knowing he’d have trouble standing up to him. the kid had guts.
i kind of love equius a lot and wish more people would write fic about him where he’s more than a sweat joke or a d/s caricature…
What if there are actually multiple souls in your body but you’re the most powerful one so you have control over your body and the voices you hear in your head are just the weaker souls talking to you.
and maybe people with schizophrenia don’t have an assertive soul so all of the souls are fighting to take over
both of you write a book together
writers are people who have acknowledged and made friends with their extra souls
a moment of brutal honesty from mum… “Every time I trust you, you go way out of line. So stop telling me to trust you.”
Not sure whether to laugh or cry, because it’s undeniably true - my parents cannot trust me, and I recognise that. Doesn’t mean that admitting it doesn’t hurt…
WHOEVER BUYS THIS FOR ME WINS MY ETERNAL LOVE
I OWN THIS
EVERY MORNING HE SAYS SOMETHING DIFFERENT ABOUT HOW THE WORLD NEEDS YOU AND YOU HAVE TO GET UP
AND WHEN YOU PRESS THE BUTTON TO HUSH HIM HE SAYS “DEFTLY DONE, MADAM,” OR “IF IT’S NOT TOO FORWARD OF ME, THAT DID TICKLE, MADAM”
IT WAKES YOU UP WITH THE SOUND OF CHIRPING BIRDS BEFORE STEPHEN FRY’S VOICE
EVERYONE SHOULD HAVE ONE
THIS IS LIKE JARVIS.
A REAL JARVIS EXCEPT HE’S A CLOCK.
how many Hogwarts students does it take to change a light-bulb?
1 Slytherin to break it
1 Gryffindor to volunteer to climb the ladder and change it
3 Hufflepuffs to hold the ladder and insure the safety of the Gryffindor student
and 1 Ravenclaw to point out that they could have just used magic
LISTEN UP MOTHER FUCKERS
ITS CALLED WOLFRAM ALPHA
THIS IS THE BEST GODDAMN WEBSITE FOR ACADEMIC SHIT. FUCK GOOGLE.
THIS MOTHERFUCKER WILL LET YOU SEARCH “HOSPITAL BEDS IN CHAD VS. IRAN”
AND IT GIVES YOU A STRAIGHT GODDAMN ANSWER
MAYBE YOU’RE NOT INTERESTED IN DOCTORNESS OF THIRD WORLD COUNTRIES COOL SHIT
HAVING TROUBLE WITH MATH?
OR MAYBE YOU WANNA DICK AROUND
WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU WANT